Most of the time i write when im sad. I stumbled through Medium cz of a friend, i reread my posts and it was just devastatingly heartbreaking. So young (6months difference😂) and so in pain.. why would you do that to yourself?
I now know and understand what it means to be alone and how to enjoy your solitude. you were born alone, you have to survive life alone, and, later, you will die alone. you might give up on some days, some months, or a year and more even, but you have to show up for yourself ALWAYS at the end of the day. No one will ever pick you up like yourself will, and that i know.
Work hard, Pray to God, Have FAITH!!
One thing i also noticed is how when you are stuck into a routine, a place, a crowd, you will never be able to change what it is that is bothering you at heart, you cannot just change one, you have to change all three. Sadly, knowing i am big on attachment, its hard for me to turn my life around like how i wanted it to, but thankfully, thank god, i get to experience and have a little taste of what it could have been.
Loving myself has always been easy on the mouth, but now i know that i am my number 1 priority. I love me, i love how i will always be there for me. I love how i will make sure i am happy, healthy, wealthy, lucky. Be it in love or not, i feel complete. So one day when the right, worthy man comes.. he will be an additional in my life. It wont be someone i long for, someone i need, someone im dependent on.. rather it will be an accessory i WANT to in my life. And i will keep that accessory for life.