How is it that a moment is a moment? why cant we just trim that exact moment in time and make it loop till we die? how is it that life is all about highs and lows and up and downs and just a long wheel turning?
Its so hard to be grateful and to be excited and hopeful for the future.. when you have had the best of moment you think there is its so hard when you hit rock bottom and pick up yourself. I would love to always always be hopeful and excited. My mama said that whatever she wants in life, whatever she thinks and imagined, came true for her. She said that god is a lot closer to me than my veins. And i know that & i believe her.
Maybe thats why my worst nightmare came true. Lol. But looking back, im happy that it did. It showed me the true colors of something, showed me how fragile it is to be holding someones heart and giving someone your word. It broke me like doomsday but in the end, i picked myself up, looked for help but never got it. Its hard to be hopeful when something keeps disappointing you, even when your expectations was lower than where the titanic is right now lol. I tried to better myself i really did, i want to be happy and i wanna be closer to God. But better isnt enough cause i wanna be the best version of myself so i attract the best, not better.
If its hard you chew, if it feels overflowing you swallow slowly.
Now i tried to keep moments of my life in a box, stacking them away and putting them in the garage, opening it only when needed, but knowing it will always be there, never leaving, so you have to just live with it. You cherish it, but you dont need to be overwhelmed from all the emotions. It was good before but its no good anymore. Its time to prepare stuff for the new boxes. Acceptance is important. And thats on me being hopeful and excited.
Wherever you are, i hope you are grateful, hopeful & excited.